After watching your loved one get sober, it’s normal to feel helpless, frustrated and scared when you see them experiencing a relapse. Right now, one of your biggest questions may be, “What should I do if my loved one relapses on drugs or alcohol?” Figuring out what to say to a family member after a relapse becomes easier once you understand the cycles that occur in addiction.
While people sometimes feel alone as they try to figure out how to help a loved one after relapse, this challenge is quite common in the recovery community. In fact, studies show that 40% to 60% of people in recovery will experience a relapse at some point.
One of the most important things to understand about the addiction relapse cycle is that falling back into old habits isn’t a failure. Instead, relapse in addiction is a stage in the recovery process that is manageable when your family takes the right steps.
In this family addiction guide, you’ll learn how to define relapse in addiction. You’ll also be better able to understand why this happens, along with the stages of relapse in addiction. Being able to recognize the warning signs of addiction relapse gives you more ways to help your loved one in the earliest stages.
Our goal is that, by the time you finish reading this family guide to addiction recovery, you’ll be ready to take the next steps to help your loved one seek relapse treatment.
Understanding What Happens During the Addiction Relapse Cycle
Asking “How can families support someone struggling with an addiction?” is a sign that you care deeply about your family member’s well-being. Taking the perspective that relapse is a process and not a single event is important when you are helping someone with a substance use disorder (SUD) after relapse.
You’ll first want to know that there are three stages of relapse in addiction:
- Emotional relapse – Experiencing stress, denial and withdrawing from support
- Mental relapse – Thinking about using drugs or alcohol in the past and romanticizing those times
- Physical relapse – Beginning to actually use the substance again
Exploring why someone goes back to using drugs or alcohol is also important when you are supporting family through addiction relapse. Our treatment team often pinpoints a relapse to several common causes, such as:
- Triggers and stressors
- Overconfidence in recovery
- Lack of coping skills or emotional regulation
Understanding relapse triggers can often reveal ways to encourage a loved one to seek help with managing their cravings in the future. When you are wondering what to do when someone relapses, it’s also important to address the situation with compassion.
Although nearly half of all people with an SUD will relapse, the rates are similar to other types of chronic diseases, such as hypertension and diabetes. A relapse doesn’t mean the treatment failed.
Instead, viewing this moment as one of the relapse recovery steps makes it possible to give your loved one hope for a drug and alcohol-free future.
Recognize the Signs of Relapse in Addiction
Watching for the signs of a relapse can help answer your question of, “When should a loved one go back to treatment after relapsing?” The early warning signs of a relapse often begin appearing weeks before the actual substance use.
Some of the most common signs of relapse in addiction include:
- Increased irritability, isolation or mood swings
- Losing interest in therapy, not going to support groups or stop maintaining healthy routines
- Romanticizing past substance use or reconnecting with old triggers
- Suddenly becoming secretive or dishonest about activities
- Experiencing changes in sleep patterns or appetite
Watching for the warning signs of a relapse is one of the most important things to do when you are supporting a loved one in recovery. Often, providing your loved one with intervention during the emotional or mental relapse can stop it from progressing to the actual physical substance misuse stage.
Act With Compassion by Knowing What to Say to a Family Member After a Relapse
Knowing what to say to a family member after relapse requires choosing to act with compassion rather than judgment. One of the most important communication tips for addiction recovery is to view the addiction as a disease and not a moral failure.
To begin encouraging rehab after relapse, try using statements like these:
- I know this is hard right now. I’m here to help you get back on track.
- Relapse doesn’t erase all of the progress you’ve made. You can continue your recovery.
- You have my support. Let’s start exploring your options for relapse treatment.
Managing guilt and blame in addiction recovery is important for everyone’s emotional well-being. As you talk to your loved one, avoid using negative statements that cause them to feel like a failure.
Keeping your conversations positive gives people dealing with a relapse hope and strength to reach out for substance use treatment.
As you start to look for how to build trust after addiction, remember that setting clear, loving boundaries allows you to be supportive without sacrificing your mental and physical health.
Learn How to Set Boundaries After a Relapse While Offering Support
Setting healthy boundaries helps your loved one, while engaging in enabling behaviors harms their recovery. Take a look at these examples of setting healthy boundaries to make coping with a loved one’s relapse easier for you and your family.
- I love you, but I’m not going to give you money to buy drugs.
- I will support you, but I need to see you continuing to put effort into your recovery.
- I care about you, so you cannot bring drugs or alcohol into our house.
Keep in mind that you can encourage your loved one to seek addiction treatment after relapse, but you should never force them to go. If you’re struggling with setting boundaries, then family therapy for addiction can help you find support.
What to Say to Encourage Resuming Treatment After a Relapse
When your loved one experiences a relapse, you’ll need to help them determine if they need to go back to rehab. This typically depends on the severity of the disease. Recovery plans after relapse often include one or several of the following types of addiction treatment:
- Outpatient support
- Medication-assisted treatment
- Inpatient rehab care
The right type of treatment for your loved one depends on the severity of the relapse, along with the types of substances they use. For instance, people who misuse heroin may relapse eight to 10 times before they maintain sobriety.
People with severe substance misuse challenges may need inpatient care or medication-assisted treatment (MAT). Our addiction relapse recovery team can help your loved one identify which forms of care will provide the best level of support.
Practice Self-Care While Navigating Relapse as a Family
Caring for yourself right now is just as important as helping your loved one. You’ll want to watch out for the signs of caregiver burnout that signal you need to find emotional support for families of addicts.
Feeling anxious, depressed, frustrated or hopeless are all signs that you need to focus on providing yourself with more self-care.
Finding mental health support for families of people with substance use disorders (SUDs) helps you to maintain your emotional health as you navigate a relapse. You can use these ways to find support to begin practicing self-care.
- Family therapy
- Support groups such as Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and SMART Recovery
- Working with therapists to set healthy boundaries
Prioritize Relapse Prevention for Families
Preventing future relapses involves several important steps. As you work through these strategies as a family, remember that BARRT Programs provides a wide range of resources for creating a relapse prevention plan.
First, you’ll want to help your loved one identify personal triggers and stressors. A relapse prevention plan should also include the forms of care they can use to overcome obstacles during their recovery.
For instance, medication-assisted treatment can reduce withdrawal symptoms and cravings. Attending therapy sessions regularly provides your loved one with support to handle potential triggers as they arise. Learning positive coping strategies for managing stress prevents negative emotions from building up.
You can also encourage long-term recovery habits that improve your loved one’s emotional and physical well-being. A relapse prevention plan may outline some of the following components of a healthy lifestyle in recovery.
- Establishing healthy routines for exercise, sleep and stress management
- Finding accountability partners and sponsors
- Allowing you and your other family members to check in regularly without trying to control their behavior
Relapse Is a Detour, Not the End of the Road
Getting off track in recovery is a normal part of learning how to live a healthier lifestyle in sobriety. Remembering that this time is merely a setback and not representative of a personal failure can help you maintain an optimistic perspective.
Finding ways to support a loved one who is experiencing a relapse is easier when you don’t try to do it alone. Reach out to our team of addiction specialists at BAART Programs. We’ll help you begin putting together a relapse recovery plan that helps you and your loved one get back on track with your goals to enjoy a sober lifestyle.
